Lately I have been struggling a lot. I would find myself thinking about my situation and see no way out. I would talk with people and blame them for their inability to fully listen, to truly understand what I was trying to share with them.
Given this unpleasant situation. I decided to go back into my mind and think about the reasons why I decided to start this blog. I reminded myself that I have made a commitment to find the time to do the things I really love and to fully appreciate life without constantly judging people and situations.
Thinking again about this commitment I started to believe that it was way too much for me. It appeared to be something that I could have been able to achieve only my dreams.
How could I get rid of judgement? How could I manage to avoid judging every given situation? How could I give up expectations on people?
I went back to read my old posts on these topics, but I felt like something was missing.
And then I had a sudden realisation.
The problem is not judgement itself. The problem is that we unconsciously judge.
Most of the times it just goes like this: we see a fat person and we think that this person has no self-respect, that she is a bad person, that we are better than her.
Another example is when we wake up lazy, we have no desire to do anything and so we decide that we are going to have a bad day, that nothing can change it.
The problem here is not in the perception (seeing a fat person, or feeling tired), nor in the judgement itself (it can be fair to have our own ideas on things). The problem is that we believe that the way we judge things is the only possible way. We forget that we share reality with others, that anyone has different perceptions and thus judgements.
As we understand this concept we can finally take action, we can try to get rid of judgement, or at least become aware of it.
Every time you see something, or experience a certain situation, remind yourself that there is a small gap between the perception and the judgement. And there you should act. You have the ability to act in that gap, you can try not to judge everything that happens to you.
It still looks very hard, but it is possible.
At first you should practice awareness: if we don’t understand we are judging we cannot act, we are stuck. But as we become more confident, as we begin to unfold the unconscious process of judgement we can progressively take control of it. We can decide live the situation itself, to appreciate the present moment for what it really is.
As we free ourselves from constant judgement we can live a much more pleasant life.
What do you think about this post? Are you used to judge a lot? What do you think we can do to get rid of this attitude? Please let me know in the comments below!
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