“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
As we go through life, it might happen that we suddenly stop and realize that nothing is going the way we planned, that things are not turning out the way we expected them. We might start doubting our own abilities and beliefs. We might feel unsure about what is going to happen and question our ability to shape our life the way we truly desire.
We might feel small and powerless.
In these situations, we expect that the whole world might collapse on us. However, this is just temporary. Most of the times we are just giving birth to a monster inside our minds. The real problem is that we have to get rid of all our doubts quickly; otherwise the monster would grow bigger and bigger making us depressed, exhausted, overwhelmed.
Discomfort might be a valuable signal that we need to change something, that our lives are not aligned with our true purposes. If this is the case, than we should better understand which are our inner desires and take some little steps toward our dream life. Nonetheless, most of the times self-doubt arises out of stress, of a bad period or due to some challenge we will have to face soon.
Here are some simple strategies to effectively couple with self-doubt:
- Realize you are not the only one. Talk with others, find the courage to share your innermost fears and doubts. You will soon realize that you are not the only one, that deep inside we are all human beings, that we all have doubts, that everyone is just trying to find his own way. By communicating with others and by truly listening to what they are going to share with you, you will soon realize that you are not in the worst possible situation, that maybe what you thought to be a very big problem is indeed a very little one;
- Slow down and relax. Usually big problems are big only in our mind. We create them and then our fears make us believe they are unsolvable, that there is nothing we can do. Try to step aside from the problem as you see it now, realize that the big dilemma you are facing now might have very little importance in the overall story of your life. Remember how many times you’ve been worried about something in the past and how many times you’ve managed to come up with a solution;
- Ask for guidance. Everyone is absolutely unique, but this does not mean that no one has ever experienced what you are living right now. If self-doubt is taking over you, you’d better reach out and find someone else who has already faced a similar situation. Their suggestions will be like gold for you. If you can’t find such a person, then just try to ask someone you trust, to someone who truly cares about you. A different point of view on the matter could always turn out to be enchanting and liberating;
- Take a tiny step. Act, don’t just lie on the couch losing yourself in your thoughts. Prove yourself that you are not passively facing reality, but that instead you are ready to become the master of it. Just by doing the smallest action you will create momentum and instill in yourself feelings of hope and faith. We are often negatively affected by our doubts. The reason is that we see them as indefinitely true, as something we cannot change. When we take action we prove ourselves wrong and thus we manage to change our perspective;
- Remind yourself that you can always find a reason to be happy right now. No matter what is happening in your life, you can find a reason to smile and to be thankful. Life is a gift, there is no reason to fill it completely with our problems, doubts, fears. Bad things will always happen, and it’s our duty to do our best to overcome them, but no one has ever said that we should devote all of our time thinking about what is wrong. From time to time just remember yourself that there is also a bright side, you just have to decide to look at it;
- Embrace discomfort. Life is about change, and you cannot do anything about it. Realize that we need to step out from our comfort zone, that new challenges are going to arise soon. Your decision and your actions are going to define the person you will become tomorrow. Do your best to act and live so that to unleash your full potential. Have the confidence that every situation you encounter is just a tiny step toward the realization of your dreams.
What do you think about this post? Are you often taken over by self-doubt? What kind of strategy do you usually use to get rid of it? Please let me know in the comments below!
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